How to Play


Official Rules

1. First, all players must thoroughly sanitize their hands with Purell. Then, they should pledge their loyalty to Trumped Up Cards: The World's Biggest Deck by raising their right hands and saying, "Believe me, folks, this deck is so yuuuge, you won't believe it! People all over the world are talking about it!"

2. Then, each player draws ten very clean White Cards.

3. The player with the greatest net worth begins as the Card Evaluating Officer (CEO).

4. The CEO must say, "I'm really rich," and make a dismissive hand gesture. Then, the CEO selects a fantastic Blue Card from the top of the deck and reads its text out loud.

5. Each player chooses a White Card that best answers or completes the Blue Card, then passes it face down to the CEO.

6. The CEO shuffles the answers and shares each card combination with the group. The CEO then chooses the most tremendous response. The player who submits the winning answer receives that hand's Blue Card. All Blue Cards have a letter on them. These letters are very, very important, so unless you're a fool or a loser, pay attention to them!

7. After the round, a new player becomes the CEO, and everyone, even the stupid losers, draws another White Card to maintain an inventory of ten. The new CEO puts a new Blue Card into play, and the game continues as described in steps 5 and 6.

8. On both White Cards and Blue Cards, you will occasionally see a footnote. Footnotes do not impact game play. We include them to provide more context regarding quotes and other information that is cited or alluded to on these cards.

9. There are a subset of White Cards known as Trump Cards. Trump Cards have larger-than-average powers that players can use to obtain a strategic advantage during a hand. Trump Cards are usually played in combination with a standard White Card. At the end of a hand, a player who has used a Trump Card in combination with a White Card will need to draw two White Cards to maintain an inventory of ten. See below for additional information about how specific Trump Cards work.

10. Breaking the rules at any time is okay, as long as you can persuade a simple majority of players that what you are doing will help make America a more amazing place to live than China, Mexico, or even Japan!

11.There are two ways to play the game to conclusion:

FOR "BIG LEAGUE" PLAYERS

The game ends when a player can spell V-O-T-E using the letters on the Blue Cards he or she has won. DC Gridlock variation: At the beginning of a "Big League" game, players can decide if they also want to add the DC Gridlock variation. Here's how it works: When a player spells V-O-T-E as described above, the other players can block him or her, if collectively they have won enough Blue cards to spell V-E-T-O. If they can, those players can eliminate one of the Blue Cards the other player has used to spell V-O-T-E, thus blocking his or her win. Players who successfully apply a veto must discard the Blue Cards they used to do so after applying it. Play continues until someone can successfully spell V-O-T-E without getting vetoed by the other players.

FOR TOTAL LIGHTWEIGHTS

The game ends when the majority of the players grow so depressed at the prospect of a real Trump presidency that they just start quietly sobbing. In this scenario, the player who possesses the most Blue Cards at this point is the winner.

Whichever version you play, all the stupid losers have to call the winner "Mr. Trump" for the rest of the evening. In addition, the winner is allowed to run for president (assuming he or she can persuade RNC Chairman Reince Priebus that there truly is no saner option).

 

Trump Cards

Deport an opponent's answer!

This card lets you eliminate an opponent's White Card. Play this card after the CEO reads all the responses for a hand, but before he or she selects the most tremendous response. You should play this card when you think your White Card is the second best answer in a hand. By eliminating the competition, your White Card may then become the most tremendous.

Impose a 45 percent tariff!

This card lets you impose a 45 percent tariff on the White Cards your opponents submit during a hand. In other words, their responses must be 45 percent more tremendous than your own response. If none of them are, you win the hand. Who decides if a response is 45 percent more tremendous than yours? Your gut.

Declare White Card bankruptcy!

Discard five White Cards you don't like, plus this Bankruptcy card, and select six new White Cards to replace them. Play this card before submitting a White Card for a hand. Once you have your new cards, you must submit a White Card for that hand too.

Play the woman card!

This card lets you dismiss any female player's answer during a hand, for no good reason. If you like, you can also use this card against feminist men too, or any man who feels ethically ambivalent about beauty contests.

So sue me!

Use this card to challenge any player who performs an action you think is unfair or unethical. If the majority of other players agree with you, that player must sit out a hand. If they don't, you have to sit out a hand.

Tilt the playing field!

Use this card to play two White Cards in a single hand, thus increasing your chances of winning. When the hand is over, draw three new White Cards to maintain your inventory of ten.

Invoke eminent domain!

After a hand is completed and the CEO has chosen a winning Blue Card, you can use this card to seize that card for yourself. (This is useful if the winning Blue Card features a letter you need to complete the word V-O-T-E.) After you play this card, draw one new White Card to maintain your inventory of ten.

Go off script!

Use this card to submit your own original answer instead of using a White Card. If you have a Dry-Erase marker, you can write your answer directly on the card. If you don't, simply write your answer on a small sheet of paper and submit that. At the end of the hand, draw one new White Card to maintain your inventory of ten.

Eliminate liberal bias!

This card lets you exclude the player sitting to the left of you from a hand. Play this card after the CEO reads the text of the hand's Blue Card, but before players submit their White Cards for the hand.

Reframe the narrative!

Use this card to force the CEO to replace that hand's Blue Card with a different one. Play this card after the CEO reads the text of the hand's initial Blue Card, but before players submit their White Cards for it.